Give, Without Expectation ©

Hm. Easy, difficult?

“Easy. You just give”. Really? When we give, whether it’s of our time, our money, our affection, our knowledge, our help, anything, do we ever really give without expectation, even if it’s just the expectation of something as mundane (and well-mannered) as a Thank You?

Perhaps some people have mastered the art of giving without expecting anything in return, anything at all, not even a thank you. I’m not one of those people, I’m afraid, but I know it is one of the things I have to learn in this lifetime.

So how does one master the art of giving without expectation?

Perhaps we need to question our intentions and motivation in giving in the first place. Are we giving in order to be made to feel appreciated, indispensable, important? Do we give because we have more than the person to whom we are giving, thereby perhaps falling into the category of “rescuer”? Do we give to show how much we have, how much we can do, how much better we are than the person receiving? Do we give out of guilt for any number of reasons, some of which are probably not even personal, or real? Or do we give purely, absolutely out of love and generosity, and a genuine desire to share the wealth in all its forms?

What about a deeper, more spiritual take on this: Once we give, the moment it leaves our hands, our hearts, our wallets, our mouths, it no longer belongs to us, and instead it has passed into the realm of the universe, where we are all interconnected anyway, we are one, so even expecting a “thank you” is superfluous and a bit daft – do you thank yourself for something you did for yourself?

Or it is that giving needs to be done entirely without attachment to anything, neither the giving and the giver, nor the taking and the taker – it is an act like any other, like scratching your nose. Ah, but even in that act there is an expectation – I scratch my nose and I expect it to stop itching.

I don’t know how we would ever evolve to a point where we give without any expectation of anything at all in return, even if what we get in return is totally disproportionate to what we gave, or not received from the same person to whom we gave, or not in the same time frame.

If everyone just gave, for whatever reason, each of us would always receive – at the very least we would receive an acknowledgment that what we gave, whatever it was, was received. Whether it was useful, or appreciated, or life-changing, or timely would then take on a less important role. Just acknowledge that XYZ was received, that’s all. This also sends a vital message to the universe – we are centred in gratitude, grateful for whatever we receive, which usually opens us up to more.

We all want to be valued in some way, we all want our existence to be acknowledged in some way, I think. As that brilliant line from the movie, Shall we Dance, says, “We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet, what does any one life really mean? …. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness'." The Susan Sarandon character was specifically referring to marriage, but we could apply this respectful view to all our interactions, couldn’t we? And be generous in our thanks and acknowledgment for the other’s time, love, money, attention, thoughtfulness, help.

Author: Beba Papakyriakou (BA; BA Honours, Psychology)
Copyright 2009 15 August 2009
Reproduce freely but maintain © notice.
Web Site: http://www.houseofbeesting.com (House of Bee Sting)