Let Go of the
"What If" & "If Only"
State of Mind

I would first like for you to read a Personal Experience submission that touched my heart deeply. It is from a site visitor/customer named Frances and here is her experience…

"15 years ago, I was drying my hair one morning in the bathroom and my mother said goodbye to me to go to work. She came back to the bathroom and blew me a kiss like we sometimes did.

A few seconds afterwards I heard a voice that said, "tell her you love her or/because (I cannot remember if it was or/ or because) you'll never see her again".

I ran out of the house with wet hair and no shoes on a November day to try and tell my mom I loved her. She had walked farther than I could without shoes or a coat so I didn't get to catch up with her.

Ten minutes later I drove by an intersection near my house and someone had been hit by a car. They had covered the body but I knew it was my mom. I always wonder if somehow it was my fault that she died. That someone was warning me and that if I had only run farther I could have told her I loved her and she would have lived. My mind tells me that I couldn't have prevented it, but sometimes I feel that the few seconds to tell her I loved her, may have saved her life."

So many of us experience events in our lives that make us think, if only I did this or what if I did that and we torture ourselves with these thoughts. We live with guilt and regret when in fact, if we understood the truth of how events manifest and how to tell if what happened was destined or free will, we could release ourselves from those negative emotions.

So Frances and all of those living with the what if and if only frame of mind…pay attention to this article!

Before you are born, you write out and agree to a contract or a blueprint of what your life experiences will include. This happens prior to your coming to live on Earth, prior to being born.

This contract or blueprint defines what will happen to you while you live in Physical. If your life is written in stone then all events must take place as written. You may still have choices (which are called clauses in the contract) to make, but those choices will not affect the events that need to happen. If you have free will, your choices can affect the events and change the way your life path was originally written.

So there are basically two types of contracts written, those with clauses where the events do not change and those with blanks or free will which can change the events and your life direction.

As soon as you are born, the events and your life path begin to play out and progress smoothly in Spirit. One event happens before the next as it does in Physical. This continues until you get to a free will choice or clause in your contract.

If you have free will, that part of the contract is blank. When you make your choice, the contract is filled in with that choice and future events are created based on that choice. You then follow the contract events until the next free will choice. Your free will choice may change your life direction and experiences.

If you have a clause in your contract, the events that follow that choice stay the same. The future events and your life direction does not change. Your choice does not change the events in your life. Most souls have contracts with free will choices rather than written in stone contracts.

There are no breaks or time lapses as your life blueprint unfolds in Spirit - only in physical does time lapse. The timing for events occurring in physical varies. You may be shown an event in Spirit and it can manifest in physical 2 days later, 2 months later or 2 years later and your Guides will not tell you when it will manifest (that is not meant to be known in this stage of evolution of a soul's development).

The difference in timing happens because of the emotional aspect the soul experience. Emotions felt in Spirit are not the same as the emotions felt in Physical. In Physical the emotions are felt more intensely and it takes time for the soul to experience and work through the feelings. The working through of emotions creates the time lapses between events.

The key to knowing whether a choice or event is free will or a written in stone clause is through intuition. That is one of the reasons it is so important to be able to recognize and develop your intuition. As you develop your abilities and meditate you raise your vibration and increase your sensitivity and intuitive abilities.

In the case of Frances, her mother being hit by the car was already predetermined. It was a planned event and she could not do anything to stop it from happening. Her mother had agreed to die at that particular time in that particular way in her contract and Frances was not allowed to interfere with the way the contract was to play out.

Even if Frances had managed to catch up with her mother to say what she wanted, the accident still would have happened because it was predetermined. And instead of Frances thinking, if only I had run further, she would have been thinking, if only I didn't listen to the voice. Either way, Frances would have suffered the what if or if only frame of mind.

Her mother's accident was written in stone and so Frances could be and was supposed to be given advance notice of the event by the voice. The voice was not a chance occurrence. It would have been part of Frances' blueprint. There would have been a reason for that knowledge being given to her. She was not meant to stop the event. She was not allowed to stop the event from happening but she was supposed to be given the advance notice of the event because knowing that one piece of information influenced her tremendously. It changed her outlook on life. It changed her thoughts. It changed her beliefs. It was a catalyst to her experiencing a range of emotions such as guilt, regret, and love and these emotions were necessary and part of HER contract. Only Frances truly knows what kind of influence that one experience had on her life.

If Frances examines her thoughts and feelings she can see that her intuition is telling her that it was a meant to be event. She said that her mind tells her that it could not be prevented. That is her intuition and if she can recognize and trust that feeling or knowledge then she can let go of the guilt that she carries. She can look at what the experience taught her and how it influenced who she is today and then let go and let the truth of the event set her free.

When events manifest on Earth, a person feels the emotions of the experience. The feelings, sensations and emotions on Earth are much more intense then what is felt in Spirit. That is part of the purpose of you having a life on Earth - to feel the emotions in all their glory and intensity. Frances was meant to feel all of those emotions for a reason. When you go through an experience and you have feelings associated with them - they are there for a reason. You are meant to feel the emotions and fulfill your blueprint or life path requirements.

If you are meant to do something - you will do it. If Frances was meant to catch up with her mother, she would have run until she dropped and not worried about how far her mother was down the road. Life circumstances or your feelings will force you to do what is necessary. Even at that time, her intuition was telling her to let her mother go and do nothing. It wasn't her lack of caring or love for her mother, it was Frances acting on her intuition which told her that the event had to happen.

So if you are walking around with a bad case of the what if and if only thoughts - change it to, "How did my life change because of the choice I made?" and take some time to figure it out. How did you change as a person? What did you do because of the event taking place the way it did? Pay attention to what your intuition is telling you about the situation. Get to a place of calm and feel the answer. Emotions will cloud the answer. Let go of the emotions and feel the truth of the situation through your intuition. Only then will you know if the event was meant to be or free will.

If it was meant to be, understand that you could not have changed what happened and simply let it go. Let the truth set you free from negative emotions that may be holding you back in life. If it was free will and you did not like the outcome, figure out what was learned and make sure not to repeat the pattern.

About the Author:

Wendy Kay, has been studying and researching the spiritual realm for over 20 years. In 1997 she founded her web site www.oralin.com which specializes in providing information for those who are just starting to explore the Spirit World, those who want to develop their psychic abilities or for those who want to expand their awareness. Her goal is to provide a community for those of you who want Higher Level Awareness so that you can reach your full potential.