Matthew's Visit

When I was 10 yrs. old, my 2 yr. old cousin, Matthew, drowned in a friend's pool. I wasn't that close to him and, at the age of 10, didn't understand or care about death. I went to the funeral and was probably the only person who didn't cry. That is just to portray how "untouched" and "disconnected" I was from the death and my cousin himself.

That night, as my mother tucked me into bed, I asked her if she would get me a glass of water. Meanwhile, I felt the edge of my bed sink, as if someone had sat on it or laid down next to me. I just moved over a little and waited for my water, unconcerned. I then heard quick, shallow breathing, the way a baby or small child breathes. I thought that I was hearing the echoes of my own breaths in my head, so I turned to lay on my other ear. It continued. So I sat up, held my breath and listened. The breathing continued and the moment that I realized that it was coming from the indentation in the bed next to me and felt peaceful and relaxed, it went away. I knew it was Matthew.

I believe that he came to me to let me know he was ok so I could relay that to the family. I think he chose me because I was the only one who was detached enough to look at it perspectively and not emotionally. Everyone else was too distraught to be able to handle such an encounter.

- Julie, USA (June 2002)